Leading purveyors of immorality and cross-generational sexual intercourse coined the phrase “Mwanamke Ni Standards” in a bid to confuse women on what exactly is feminism. “Mwanaume Ni Effort” was the so-called clarion call for men to up their game, effort in this case being a euphemism for money.
The by-product of this messaging meant that women have opted to stay single for longer periods, hoping and praying that they would find a better offer at the end of the tunnel. Better offer meaning someone who is financially able to meet both her needs and those of her family, since women in Kenya are turning out to be the anchors of their maternal homes, educating younger siblings and catering for hospital costs.
Today we have many women over 30’s opting to remain single, in the silent hope that a knight in shining armour will come down from heaven, in a chariot of fire and sweep them away to the land flowing with milk and honey, never mind the lactose intolerance. And if eventually a man does stumble upon such a woman, chances are that he will be bogged down by the crazy standards that are buoyed by societal expectations and messaging from leading feminists about what a man should be. Many men will opt to bail out of such a situation further increasing tally of single-mothers, that’s growing exponentially.
Such women will remember with nostalgia how their phones buzzed by the hour, with offers for dates and romantic getaways during the Valentine’s many years ago. They’ll remember all the good guys they ignored, all the assholes that wasted their youth and shed a tear come 14th of February. They’ll hook up with their girlfriends purporting to have a girls night out, but in the real sense they will simply be drowning their misery in cheap wine. They’ll observe couples walking into various establishments, talking, laughing and leaving for their homes, and not for a random quickie in a boarding & lodging.
There is no substitute for happiness and having a solid man without any grandiose delusions or expectations is starting to look like a decent compromise and prospect for the older over 30’s misguided lot of Nairobi women, who for the longest had their priorities warped. While it’s never too late to find love, it’s unfortunately too late turn back the hands of time and rediscover youth.
To the young woman out there excited by this weekend’s Valentine’s date, pick carefully and wisely now that you’re spoilt for choice. Your older counterparts barely have their phones ringing, and if they do, it’s probably from their bank or landlord with routine reminders. Choose the man that you will spend your life with, who you can see your future with. This world has nothing to offer for an over 30 single woman who is still weighing her options. But if you exit the market with the man who will guarantee you a wedding, however big or small, you will still be looking hot and sexy for him even at Sheila Mwanyigha’s age, only difference being an addition of two lovely kids who will always be your source of joy and hope.
Don’t be misled by the Instagram posts where women who thought they were had the best package to offer, now moonlight alone or with unseen sponsors in fancy hotels taking pics of their gourmet meals, captioning them with big words from the menu’s. You can have it all and even more. Marriage is a beautiful thing, young marriage when there’s energy and fertility is the wave.
Despite the feminism movement gaining a stranglehold of the mainstream media, many married women know the danger posed by rookie writers like Njoki Chege at making their husbands targets of vicious and marauding women. It is the women in marriages who form the vast majority that discourage feminism in-order to keep the family unit intact. It’s a self-presevation measure.
On the flipside, Kenyan men have also become smart these days. They won’t agree to take a woman who overstayed in her hoe-phase, stuffing herself with contraceptives (P2) to enable her explore her sexuality without getting pregnant. The risk of infertility and mental fracture is too high to underwrite for a young black man, while reality is that beautiful young women are a dime a dozen. The so-called “twitter-hunnies clique” who frequent bars more than churches are definitely a minority who cannot qualify as wife-material.
In the olden days, cultures employed the use of female genital mutilation to suppress the sexual desire in a woman, a move that is out-dated and unhealthy. Today’s marriable women have had their formation and sexual urges controlled by way of upbringing, education, religion and mentorship. Indeed there are many women who have never tasted alcohol, never been out in parties and are still married to the men that broke their virginity. You’ll be surprised to know that they’re the majority. And contrary to media reports, churches have more numbers than bars. The Pope’s mass at University of Nairobi grounds had more worshippers wading in mud at 4am than Koffi Olomide will have at Chris Kirubi’s Koroga Festival in the pristine lawns of the Aboretum Forest. All the nonsense you hear in toxic radio shows, all the hoe’s you see twerking in Ghafla “home of hoe’s” website and all the feminists you see screaming “my dress my choice” are a minuscule representation of the Kenyan population. You best believe.
So this whole standards bandwagon will simply lead you into a black hole where you will end up old, bitter and frustrated hoping to rope-in fresh recruits into your misereable small world. Dear young lady reading this, don’t be that woman! Exit the market while still at the peak of your beauty and fertility. Use the stock-market theory. Sell your shares when they’re doing well. Don’t wait for them to tumble like TransCentury or Kenya Airways that was looted to its knees by Titus Naikuni who is walking scot-free yet bloggers are being arrested.
Take time to observe the fact that women who have solid men behind them face lesser scrutiny or shade than those who are in vague or ambiguous relationships. For instance, women like Beth Mugo or Amina Abdalla who have husbands they can confidently point at, are never victims or targets of vicious attacks. But those like Anne Waiguru, Martha Karua or Caroline Mutoko will forever get trolled because no man will ever rise up to defend them. Learn from Nameless who fixed Octopizzo for throwing shade at his wife Wahu recently. If you have a man with you, for you and by you, then you’re unstoppable.
And that’s wassup beautiful people. Happy Valentines. Keep it here for more real-talk. Share this with everyone.